I don't think people understand how excited I am about having a niece. I've always wanted a baby around and my mother never agreed with me when I would plea,"C'mon just one more!" In fact, I can honestly say I love her already. I can't count the number of baby dreams I have had since my sister's pregnancy. And they seem to be more frequent as the time nears.
The other day I went to visit my cousin that lives up north at her dad's house (who lives here). My other cousin came with her baby (he's only months old) and I was able to hold him. I sort of melted. I mean, I may never have a baby of my own.
Who knows what'll happen? I'm going to adopt, I'm sure. I won't let myself get away with not adopting. I don't care if I'm in a relationship or not. Relationships aren't even important to me. They're really not. All I want is a damn baby and I want it now! (haha)But really, I'd like to one day look into the eyes of a boy or a girl and be proud of what I've raised. Not only that I did a good job, but that I did it despite it being socially awkward.
I've gotten over the fact that I might not find somebody to "marry" but I'm fine with that. Honestly, I'd rather have a child than a "significant other." If that person comes along though, well great.
Right now all of my effort of going to college and getting a good job and degree are more for my ability to raise a child. And I'm being perfectly honest. I only want to be wealthy for that reason. That sounds really odd and out of place especially for my age, but I don't care. At least I'm not greedy.

The AC in my house isn't working too well and I need to brush my teeth(for the 134322342 time today). Goodnight.

The Solisquas would like to thank Marissa Diaz for bitchsitting this weekend. We are forever grateful.

Hello, I'm still alive.
My sister is going to be married tomorrow. She's hyphenating the last names :). Same night I drop off Avery (my doggy) at Marissa's house. Saturday morning I wake up too early to leave for Dallas. I'm going to go watch the game. I will be happy spending time with my family. This post was more for me recapping my life...for me.
I have no New Years resolutions. Maybe to finally punch somebody in the face...?
I love Jesus. Au revoir.

[1] Back to Toni & Guy for me - soooooon.

I finally put in my two weeks at work. December 17th should be my last day. Just in time for Christmas.
I feel a kind of bad for leaving. Not that I owe that place anything, but some of the people there are worth my time. Like Ashley, Lauren, Jordan, Chrystall, Ben, and a few others. As much as I bitch about that place, somewhere in my heart there will be a place for it. :)


I should probably take some pictures before I leave.

I'm ready to start this new chapter in my life, though. The one without the job and money....kind of. Actually no. I've already started looking for a job. Stride Right!
Well, tomorrow the dentist gets to take a look at my teeth. I better get to brushing. Goodbye!

So faithful, so few,
so pardon, and done.
And when we recieve,
we give a change at last.

And when we are dead,
we all have wings.
We won't need legs to stand.
And when we recieve,
to see a change at last.


----------------------------
I thought my life changed over a year ago when I found out.
Never did I think I would have these conversations with my family. I thought I could keep it a secret forever, or at least until I didn't have to wake up to them everyday. My head is spinning; I'm the king of composure, though. There's nothing to make me feel better. No actions, no words, just time. I don't feel bad. No worries. Just not GOOD. It's difficult to explain. I guess I didn't realize that my life could change again. It did change, where's the doubt? There is none. I've been within myself, my thoughts for over a year and I've shelled in a part of me I probably should have let out a long time ago. Everything will be alright. Everything is fine. I'll just adjust - it won't take long. Though confused and jittery, never did my heart feel so full. I love my family. Always.

"Oh, God. Where are you now?"

My onced stressed out state of mind is coming to an ease. I'm so light. The only thing left to "worry" about is my physics book that I can't find. Haha, there's so much I was suppose to have turned in already. Oh well.

The priorly(is that a word?) spoken 'filtration process' has been a success. I ended up not being the only one filtering. I've seen it throughout this year. If you're not quite sure what I'm talking about, don't worry about it. Just know that I'm happy. It's for
the best.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't hate people - some I just don't care for. Even some since my freshman year(eek!).
But they're not to be completely dismissed. I almost thank them; they are the ones that led me to find the people I love in my life. The only people I need. The only people I want.
I hope that everybody will find their people. How sad, for somebody to go through all of highschool, and not know the ones they could count on (for sure). Maybe I'm wrong.
But some people just aren't worth the energy. The negativity and selfishness recieved from some and the insincereity I get from others haven't made me any better of a person in the past two years. I can honestly dismiss some people without hesitation for the following reason: If I've found within myself and another to withold a friendship that contributes to myself morally, while containing the comical and respectable aspects that should come along with a friendship, why do I have reason to put forth so much effort with anything less? This doesn't mean I'm totally calling off all frienships that I don't share all of that with, but - actually maybe it does. Isn't that what a friend is? Perhaps everybody else are mere aquaintences. I appreciate every single person that has come into my life, I do. They've all contributed in some way. I'm happy I've realized everything I have; I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't.

Though this year has been the worst academically, it has been the best for my heart. I've realized that my family is very important to me, and I've realized how much I love/care for them (even more in the past few weeks). I think I've taken them for granted. There are too many things that I let slip by with them, and it's a problem. I need to spend more time with them. I love my family. They represent where I come from and where I need to be. There's nothing transparent about them.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope you're all happy.

Omfg - scratch the last entry.



Just so you all know. My day was just turned around.

Thank you. Thank you thank you.

I appreciate you whole-heartedly.

These past few bed-ridden days have left me depressed. Well, not quite depressed, but very very [unhappy]. You would think the time off would do the opposite, but no. I feel extremely far behind in school, and every minute that passes adds to the stress. I can't find my physics book, and that seems to be troubling me too (usually I don't care about Physics).
My leg feels better, I think. That could be from the medicines I'm loaded up with, I'm not sure. Hopefully I'm all better.
I also feel very helpless. I get around my house on crutches and I can't drive. I have to beg my brother to take me places just to get out of the house, and when the convincing finally works, I pay for it in getting TIRED from walking on crutches; then it's me wanting to be home again. I'm suppose to work tomorrow. As odd as it sounds, I REALLY want to go. Hopefully I'll be able to. I need to feel productive. I've had from Monday to Saturday of not getting anything done - it hurts!
The thing that makes me happy is thinking about the future. 3 weeks from now, everything will be straightened out. My leg will be fine, I'll be working again, I'll be caught up in my school work and everything is going to be back to normal. I just need to take these days one step at a time, one make-up test after another and the [people] in between will keep me in check (Thank you! in advance).
Pray for the best, and if you see my Physics book or have some sort of solution to that problem, tell me. :)

Who only needs $300 more dollars to get his Macbook!?


ME

My favorite poem:


I carry your heart with me(I carry it in
my heart)
I am never without it(anywhere
I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

I fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
I want no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)
---------------------------------------------------------------


Respond to me with your favorite and tell me why. :)

1.) Copy and paste this into your journal:

<*font color="yourusername"> <*b>yourusername<*/b> <*/font>

2.) Eliminate the asterisks.
3.) Replace "yourusername" with your user name.
4.) See what colour you are.



Kenozco

I've been playing tug-of-war in many different aspects of my life for some time now; my efforts feel futile, but the fight seems worth the struggle.
I've decided complete independence is my only solution. And by complete I mean if people aren't wholefully there for me, I'm perfectly fine. Honestly, I'm not quite there yet.


Stories are easily written, re-written, written again...and it seems as though it takes one forever to complete it. Especially with two completely different people revising. It makes sense to get different points of views, and to understand different ways it can be written out, but is it sensible to see two different sides to an unfinished story? Maybe it should be finished. The readers are anxious and all that was anticipated seems to be haulted with a revolting twist. At this point in time, vulnerability is set on high, and it's ridiculous.

- I feel like shutting up. I'm not persuasive enough, and my opposition is the master at hand.


Whatever. Perhaps this was self-constructive ranting. Perhaps.

Oh, boy. I've had a headache for about 4 hours now and haven't taken a thing for it. Why is that? I have no idea. What the heck are headaches anyway? Somebody want to look that up?
Headache aside, I'm awake. Here's my streak of being a cliché teenager. I absolutely love text messaging. I don't know why, I'm addicted. It's lame, I know, but I always enjoy the sound of my phone calling me 'hey...look at me...you've got a message!' Oh man oh man oh man.
So how the hell can somebody be "interested" in you if you don't even know them? I hate that. They're not interested, it's fake. It just makes the other person seem all the less interesting. Twice now it has happened. I'm beginning to think people are desperate. I'll admit I was like that at some point, but I'm over it. Straight up stupid. Straight up.
------------------
There's so much "drama" at work, it's unbelievable. I mean wow...shit talkers EVERYWHERE. I find their problems amusing because it's all so easily avoidable...EASILY. I'm not involved in any of it, but I see it going on..and people tell me things. It's ridiculous some of the things I know. Way to start drama at a place you get paid minimum wage...way to go. With the exception of a few people, pretty much the entire staff are idiots. I feel like people don't say that enough. I need everybody at the theater to stop having sex with everybody else, and to have an epiphany. I've been there for 5 months. Is that too long? I'll stay if I get promoted..if I don't..adios. I think. On a lighter note, the company picnic is coming up :). See you kids there!
------------------
Band - going well. Rainforest is looking better than I thought. I'm still not too sure about the bullshit Solis is feeding us, but I'm willing to keep an open mind. I'm ready to steal some more stuff from the Cavies, because we're not creative enough to think of our own things.
------------------
My Toni & Guy haircut is not working out...I should have asked to get it styled. Next time I go, that's what I'll do. Definitely. They're all amazing with hair, I must say. Samantha (my new regular hair stylist) is great.
------------------
Medina R., when!?


peace out guys.

I love




The end :)

So, as you all may or may not know, I am on the birthday party team at Silverado.
Today was my first birthday party! I was FUN. Actually, I had two.

So I found out being on the B-Day team consists of:
1. Spending left over "supply money" on Starbucks
2. Leaving work to eat when the party is watching the movie
3. Playing UNO and chillin' in the party room
4. wearing a black polo instead of the uniform!
5. Getting tipped $30 for hanging out with kids and eating cake

(all while on the clock)


What fun!
- Me given a LARGE shirt
+++I get to do parties with the great people!

I'm glad - very glad.


Right now, I'm eating Yogurt. It's delicious.
Well, BYE!

Here's an update (it's been a while)...


Everybody, my summer has been going swimmingly. I'm satisfied with it's turnout; I can honestly say that. Yes, I have been working a lot, but it feels good to have some pocket cash. I've made a lot of new friends this summer as well. Mostly through work - some not :). I'm also quite excited about Basics Camp coming up. I feel a bit left behind with all of the seniors leaving, and somehow feel that going back for another year of highschool is a waste of time, band especially...hmm. I'm ready for the journey to end (or so I think). I'm half way done! :) I'm a happy camper right now. I've come in contact with an old friend and chilled with him for a while. I also got to see Pirates of the Caribbean early (mehhh).
The filtering process for the school year to come will have a slow start, but will benefit me in the end. Don't worry if you don't know what I'm talking about. We'll just say I will be in good company next year... :)
I will soon squeeze the last of the old emotion from my heart out as soon as the time comes. Although the feelings will (hopefully) be gone, there are stains and imprints that will never leave. I'm okay with that, though. It's necessary. Not to say I'm in any sort of pain right now (God no), but I think there's some [spring] cleaning to do, which will make room for a new addition(when the person comes along). I'm ready.
Meditation will continue - it helps.
I am excited about seeing everybody when school begins. I think it will be a good time.
I wouldn't expect anything terribly changed in myself. Just...different.


My heart to you all.
-Kenneth!

Tap!

I have a few days off...that sounds really weird.
I think I am going to go blow my paycheck today (it wasn't that much :( )



Oh, Trevor...

It's been a while since I actually updated, hasn't it?

A lot of things have definitely changed recently.
Some good, some bad.

Let's just say, people have changed.
Some good, some bad.


I just have one question:

¿Como se dice "SHADY"?

How disappointing...but mehh. I kind of don't care. Is that bad?

I doubt any of you will get this. Actually one person will.

OW!